Rather in his cot!

As a break from co-sleeping child?
The problem otucheniya child from sleeping with parents is not false. Many find that their children are accustomed to sleep in the parental bed, do not want to go away even when the reach is quite conscious age. Why is it so difficult to «force» the child to sleep alone and how to make this the most painful for him and the parents?
Anastasia Gareev
Psychologist

Pluses and minuses of sharing sleep
Co-sleeping with infants is very convenient for him and his mother. The child, who was nine months in a warm, soft and close the space, not a very comfortable feel in a baby cot. He used to knock her mother's heart and breathing, lonely and afraid to stay with familiar sounds and sensations. Permanent contact with the mother gives the child a sense of security and tranquility.

My mother, sleeping with the child as more calm, she manages to sleep, without wasting precious night to frequent rising to a crying baby. She just hears it kryahtenie and immediately gives him the chest, it may continue to sleep on. The child also filled, sweetly sleeps, and snuffle, strain to mom. Even if a woman does not breastfeed, it is difficult to overestimate the importance of these contacts to form a close connection with her child. In any case, the kid needs to get up at least 3-5 times per night, and to any feeding (breast or bottle) to spend some time.

It is possible in time to hug, caress, squeeze you baby wakes up, then it may not Razgulyai finalized and that is important to increase the duration of mother's sleep.

Go to the net. Although strangled their little children, many mothers classified as folk strashilok, and can not be ruled out that possibility. It seems that it is understandable that the mother instinctively sleep very sensitive, but this sensitivity can be dull, if my mother has adopted, such as a sedative and sleeping pills, or just very tired.

Also do not discount the fact that in the parental bed is a third person - my father a child. Well, if the wide bed, and Dad can do any time withdraw from his wife of marital duties. Otherwise he would not only have to live somewhere with a corner or a wall, but did not feel much better child, «pending» to another bed.

Many parents sleep more lightly and restlessly, when the child is in their bed, which does not allow them to fully rest and recuperate.

The child may form a strong need for constant presence of adults, up to a dependent state. Co-sleeping, with all its positive side, prevents the acquisition of skills to fall asleep and sleep alone. It may be that parents would be forced to "presence" to his plans, and perhaps only a baby slept peacefully the night.

To avoid accidents, doctors are advised to adhere to the following restrictions:

Do not take the baby to bed, if the parents smoked or used alcohol, sedatives or sleeping medications.

Bedding should closely match the size of the bed.

Mattress should fit snugly to the back of the bed

Keep that close to a person the child was not soft pillows and blankets.

Keep that between the bed and the wall was not a slot into which a child could fall through.

What is better - do not break or teach?
Of course, the question otucheniya child from sharing sleep is unlikely to rise in a family where a child from birth sleep separately. The choice in each case must be done by parents, on the basis of their own capabilities and weighing all the «outside» and «against».

However, you may find that the child was sleeping quietly in their beds to 1.5 years, and at this age or later (when you first realized the fear of darkness), he begins to «play pranks», refuses to sleep alone, doing everything possible, including to the use of manipulation in order to remain in the parental bed. If parents are too fundamentally in this respect, the evening «showdown» and a child can grow into a real battle, but a child will develop brain-fag. The same applies to children who slept with birth parents. So if you do decide to break the child of co-sleeping - do it before or after this age.

Here is another argument is distressing for those who are convinced that the child should sleep separately. Statistics show that children who are in their 5-6 years old are still sleeping with their parents, often had the experience of the individual dream, and more than half of them came in the parental bed, after 1.5 years. That is, when parents do not sleep with a child five months, there is no guarantee that they will not have to do that after 1.5 years.

Some single mothers are practicing with your child sleep until he polugodovalogo age, that is, until the child has expressed concern, lying in his bed. And then they start to take it in his own bed, because it clearly shows that he does not want to return to its original place. In this scenario the child, initially slept separately break from further co-sleeping is extremely difficult.

Finally, a strong supporter of co-sleeping with a child should be aware that a child sleeping with parents, not only in one bed, but even in the same room, can be a witness to their sexual relations. Moreover, even if it happens at an age when parents believe that he was not able to develop their understanding of what happens - it can be very traumatic for him.

It is believed that the best to move the child's own bed is the age of about 3 years: the child has already experienced their first night fears, feel the support of mothers and fathers, and at the same time, he already feels like the person, a man with his own identity and speak certain property. This property can be a single bed - a personal angle. Although at this age may have problems. More often it happens to those children whose parents have tried to defer to their until they reach 3 years. These children remember their unpleasant feelings and their fears, and it is very difficult to convince them that this time everything will be fine.

In fact, the best option, it would not fit the child, do not attempt to relocate it in your own bed, but wait until a point where it would want to do it yourself. In fact, in most cases, this point is itself. Well, let it happen a little later than 3 years, because every child is unique, and some of them, but someone less tied to their parents. And the level of anxiety in children is different.

However, we do not always have the opportunity to «allow the situation to drift». Sometimes children do not show any willingness «otselyatsya», even though it's been like all imaginable and unimaginable as possible. And sometimes just a new family circumstances - people are changing the place and conditions of life, there is another small, or just the parents are tired, unable to relax at night and remain alone with each other. And then the question, as they say, put an edge.